Saturday, March 16, 2013

exploring a lot of different things

Just because I haven't posted for every day of the 90-day dance event, doesn't mean I am not doing something.   There is a lot of thinking going on . . . yes, thinking!!!   I think "dance" , I don't always "do" physically.   I have so much music and dance running around in my head.   When I am driving, I sometimes just work on my hands and rhythm.   Some days, I concentrate on locking and dropping (easy enough to do when sitting at a stop light).   In, out, up down . . . . flutter flutter, wave!!!

I sound like a real goon at times . . . or is that loon???  I am looney tunes???

ha, i've had the weirdest dreams too about dancing and my feet and a bunch of other stuff.

The big source of some of my anxiety is my feet . . . and of course those short stubby things are what guides a lot of my dancing.   I might have aching hands from typing on the computer all day but my feet are what propel me across the floor and up stairs too.   someday a wheelchair might be my source of propellant . . . but who knows when that might happen.

I think about aging and dancing.  How do I want to continue my dancing if at all as my body starts to fall apart  .???  . . diabetes can do terrible things to feet (neuropathy for one) and eyes.

But do I really need to see what I dance??  A lot of my dancing can be in my head and that gives me a lot of pleasure just seeing it and feeling it pain free.

People post photos on facebook of dancers over 40 and exclaim over how beautiful they are.  But they don't really understand because they are posting mostly beautiful thin people.  Not everyone is posting the 88 year old grandma dancing but sometimes they do while making gratuituous remarks about how they want to be like her when they get that old.   But now is when the dancing is happening.  What are we waiting for??

What am I I I I I  waiting for??  lots of 'I' in this regardless of how much I use the third person.

I've been sorting through my 30 year old pile of cassette tapes.  Time to pass on more of them.  How much more music do I need??  I've got 2 hard drives full of music.  As I dutifully run my old Sony Walkman to copy tapes on to the computer, I wonder why I bother.   I haven't played so many of these tapes in years.  But listening to the music I haven't bothered with . . . well, some of it strikes a stronger chord with me now than it did 30 years ago and some of it just sounds silly because of the out-dated sounding instruments (like synthesizer and organ now replaced by an electronic keyboard that just annoys me, lol).

I had a blast finding an old type I had of music from a dance I did in the late 90's . . ."Ana Ho".   Something that was brought up at Ranya Renee's balady/shaaby intensive in February.  What a great trip to NYC!!!   Wish I could do that more often!!!   So much to say about that.   I thought about writing an article for Gilded Serpent but Lynette seemed to be more interested in updates from Cairo.  Well, I haven't been to Cairo since last May . . . so sad, too bad.    I want to write about something that has inspired me and I am sure Lynette doesn't want a long report . . . she did say a short review of the workshop would be fine.  But I want to write so much more than what will get printed at GS.  Well, that's because I am always interested in blathering about how I got somewhere and what I got from it . . . it wouldn't be the same if I didn't write that way.

And I think about that weekend a lot.  Not just the 4 times I got to dance with the band  . . . 3 times in class and once at Jebon for the performance I did . . .  Shik Shak Shok . . . first time ever I have performed to it.  I was feeling so great about the weekend that I even purchases photos and video!!!   I NEVER DO THAT!!!   AND, I also signed up for a coaching session on Monday with Ranya . . .small group of 5 of us from the weekend . . . I never do that either!!   What has gotten in to me????   And for good measure, I signed up for another private class next weekend when Ranya will be in Ft. Worth for another weekend of workshops!!

I must continue working on my breathing and channeling Glenda the Good Witch . . . this just really means a lot about how to relax into my dancing.   Must because more relaxed . . . or is that not going into myself so much . . . or should I "detach"??   Sometimes it is just too confusing.

Maybe I'll write more later about this.   I should post my video here so someone can watch if they are desperate.  :-)


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