Do you ever feel like a Ping-Pong Ball?

As you bounce from from idea, thought, project to another?

Maybe it is more like spinning in a circle as you can't make up your mind about what to do?

Maybe it is having a hard time assigning priorities?

What is the most important thing I need to be doing in my life???? Working on my health/weight!!!! If I don't do this then the consequences could be dire . . . early death due to . . . heart problems, diabetes . . . well, we all know what the risk factors are. What are the benefits of taking care of this . . . look better, feel better, wear clothes that are closer to fitting, less medication (wouldn't that be nice??) . . . just overall feeling better about myself. I have been exercising a lot in the past year with very good results. I have been feeling better overall with more energy and stamina. What I haven't been able to accomplish, no matter how hard I try, re-commit myself, etc, ad nauseum, is to lose the weight that I need to lose. I drop some but not enough. I have all the tools, all the books, all the pamplets, all the helpful hint emails and I have counselors to talk to about setting goals, etc. But I still feel like I just go in circles. What is holding me back now?? hmmmm, well, what is more scary than the fear of dying???? sheeeeesh, this is so stupid sometimes and I just want to scream . . .

What is the thing that absorbs the most time in my??? WORK!!! What do I do when I feel like I might lose my job? After getting over being paralysed by the thought of impending financial disaster , being in the middle of the process of working through my anger over my potential job loss . . . as I've said before, that anger didn't stop with the new position/project (grrrrr, the pay cut will be a good reminder of that fact that it was a job change with loss of income) . . so anger and fear over a major job shift. Well, I get spurred into action by that series of events and decide to look into new career options by taking that Intro class.

So I think work is more important than my health??? I think making money is more important than being happy maybe??? Too much to think about right now but it is not far off the mark . . . Money buys us many things that we need, money provides the means for some of the "things" we desire . . . mostly material but tangential to material also like travel. Would I be happier to get rid of everything? Not sure . . . it isn't like I have that much other than small townhouse, car and cats . . . oh, townhouse stuffed full of unfinished projects too, hehe!

Just more stuff to think about while I need to get back to my boring documentation task for the project!!! Boring but necessary . . . yes, I do feel some responsibilty and I do derive part of my selfworth from a job well done . . . always a quandary!