Thursday, July 16, 2009

summer heat and headaches . . .

It is just too much right now! Can't sleep for many reasons and the heat makes it worse. Then I wake up with a bad headache that won't go away, grrrrrrrr.

I expect that I am also going thru the stages of job loss . . . whatever those stages are. At first I felt some relief at least knowing that the "inevitable" had finally happened. Now I am feeling really angry for reasons I won't go in to just yet. As I mentioned in my "status", I don't want to get myself more worked up than I already am! Plus, I am a bit paranoid . . . even with things kept low key and rather private, I try to keep my posts rather bland . . . just in case.

Personally, I think after I find another job I should write a book and give free reign to me paranoid delusional ranting!! why not?? many other people do of course. Besides, many other people have gone through what I am going through now . . . some act better, some act worse . . . time will tell how much worse I will act.

If I feel a bit disgruntled towards my soon-to-be-former employer, then I am entitled to feel that way. I am also allowed to feel scared to death and worry about what will happen to me. I try to be brave but sometimes it wears a bit thing . . . put a brave face on it!! Gaaaaaah, just talking to cheerful recruiters makes me want to gag . . . "coach this"!!!!

All this said while sweat is dripping down every part of my body, my head is pounding and i feel my sore throat feeling worse . . . or is it hypochondria???

Where did I put those chips? hmmmmm, do I have some ice cream in the fridge?? hmmmmmmm . . . . . . . .

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