Tuesday, June 16, 2009

3rd week "on the bench" . .

This is when I start to get nervous! How to justify my existence if I am "non-billable"?? Always a quandary . . . nice to have extra time off but seriously can't do much as I have to be around waiting for an email or call. .. ready to jump right in to something. I don't want to take vacation just to fill the time because I have plans for some short weekend trips, etc.

And I worry because I could, possibly get laid off, not unthinkable at all considering the economy and the usual modus operandi of big tech corporations (or any big corp for that matter). I have weathered many a lay off at my BIG corp in the nearly 15 years of employment (yep, on July 1, lol). I've known many ppl that have taken the offers or just flat out gotten the boot. Sometimes the managers have no choice . . . sometimes it is the manager (like mine last November).

Really, I just want to work!! I haven't interviewed for anything probably since 2004? 2005? well, 2004 was not so great, lol! Then in 2004-2005, I took on those travelling gigs to stay afloat. Whew! those were rough but I survived. I've been working nearly constantly since then . . . in fact, for awhile, I felt like a ping-pong ball as I was back and forth between 2 different projects!! The past 3 years have been the most intense starting with the project that had me travelling to HK 3 times . . . the team all worked hard . . . the is a small core group of us that have survived a lot together. Unfortunately or fortunately (as the case may be), some people want/have to move on . . . another type of job (moving into management) . . . another company for different opportunities . . . laid off (that one stunk the most but at least she is thinking of a nice summer off to hang out with the kids).

To say it has been stressful would be to downplay what it feels like some times . . . but I've said it before .. . I was borne a worrier!

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