"Ambiguity" . . . like in "does not deal well with" . . .

lol, just one of those things that shows up on my work "reviews" and for some reason popped into my head.

Ambiguity=uncertainty. I certainly prefer "certainty", hehe.

Am I a black-and-white type thinker?? hmmmm, maybe so. I have been having a hard time with the lack of a project (aka "on the bench") and I realized that just the rumour that I might be assigned to a project at the beginning of July only boosted my mood for a short while. As there was nothing concrete presented during the past week (and "working on getting you on it" was all I heard), I started to get all irritated again.

Something from Wikipedia: "Ambiguity aversion (also known as uncertainty aversion) describes an attitude of preference for known risks over unknown risks (a well-known example worldwide is "stick with the monster you know; avoid the monster you don't."). It is demonstrated in the Ellsberg paradox (i.e. that people prefer to bet on an urn with 50 Red and 50 Blue balls, than in one with 100 total balls but where the number of blue or red balls is unknown)."

Not sure about the red ball/blue ball example, but I believe I do have a case of "ambiguity aversion" . . . not sure there is a cure.

Seriously, I always have wondered by "ambiguity" shows up on those reviews. For some reason, I think with my job . . . enterprise systems upgrades/implementations, programming/problem solving . . . that most of what I do revolves around things being mostly one way, done at a certain time/certain way, blah, blah. There isn't much room for ambiguity . . . or am I missing something???

;)

start of the 4th week "on the bench" . . .

so I am a bit crabby too . . . and this excessive heat (well, excessive only because it seems early to be hitting 100F) doesn't seem to help. I am sweating buckets just by sitting here . . . and the heat from the computers doesn't seem to help at all.

Friday I thought there was going to be "good news" on Monday. Monday comes around and the only thing I hear is "working on it". Well, a contract has been signed for ppl to start at the beginning of July . . . but I guess they are still in the stages of working out who will get assigned to the project other than the "transition manager". Right now, I want to deal in "realities" . . . darn, even if I get on the project, it will probably mean some traveling . . . I won't go in to how much fun that will be in the summer.

Meanwhile, I need to get myself motivated out of the house and to the fitness center. I need to continue my workouts no matter what . . . when/if I get a new project, there is no telling when I will be able to workout . . . so I need to get it all done while I can!

Oh, for speculations sake . . . in case I actually do get laid off (still a possibility ya know) . . . I was thinking about taking some time to go to Egypt and study up on costume making with Aida. Just one of those silly ideas that might be fun but hard to follow through on even if I do get laid off . . . I'd probably panic and not want to spend the money, etc, etc.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooo . . . . off to the races, errrrr, fitness center.

3rd week "on the bench" . .

This is when I start to get nervous! How to justify my existence if I am "non-billable"?? Always a quandary . . . nice to have extra time off but seriously can't do much as I have to be around waiting for an email or call. .. ready to jump right in to something. I don't want to take vacation just to fill the time because I have plans for some short weekend trips, etc.

And I worry because I could, possibly get laid off, not unthinkable at all considering the economy and the usual modus operandi of big tech corporations (or any big corp for that matter). I have weathered many a lay off at my BIG corp in the nearly 15 years of employment (yep, on July 1, lol). I've known many ppl that have taken the offers or just flat out gotten the boot. Sometimes the managers have no choice . . . sometimes it is the manager (like mine last November).

Really, I just want to work!! I haven't interviewed for anything probably since 2004? 2005? well, 2004 was not so great, lol! Then in 2004-2005, I took on those travelling gigs to stay afloat. Whew! those were rough but I survived. I've been working nearly constantly since then . . . in fact, for awhile, I felt like a ping-pong ball as I was back and forth between 2 different projects!! The past 3 years have been the most intense starting with the project that had me travelling to HK 3 times . . . the team all worked hard . . . the is a small core group of us that have survived a lot together. Unfortunately or fortunately (as the case may be), some people want/have to move on . . . another type of job (moving into management) . . . another company for different opportunities . . . laid off (that one stunk the most but at least she is thinking of a nice summer off to hang out with the kids).

To say it has been stressful would be to downplay what it feels like some times . . . but I've said it before .. . I was borne a worrier!

Video of Felluca ride on Nile in Cairo

Updated this page to display the videos from youtube:  

This is from a visit to Cairo in April 2008

Felluca on the Nile in Cairo